Emily

Emily's Thankful List

My friend Emily did a 'Thankful Challenge' on Facebook.

Her resulting posts were so funny, that I spewed a mouthful of water.  

My personal favorite is #4. And #17. 

1. I'm thankful my dog can't talk because I'm convinced he's a male chauvinist pig
    and I ain't 'bout that life.

2. I'm thankful for when my parents pick up the tab for dinner. I don't think this happens with
    everyone's parents but when I eat with my parents I don't think I've ever had to pay....EVER.  
    Thanks Mom and Dad! 

3. I'm thankful that according to Vogue, we're officially in the "Era of the Big Booty."
    My time has arrived people.

4. I'm thankful for the Cookie Monster. His message really resonated with me at
 a very young age. I like him.

5.  I'm thankful for my mini-van. (My 19 year-old-self just glared at me and
     called me a loser.) 

6. I'm thankful for eyebrows. They make a difference.

7. I'm thankful my kids haven't figured out how weird I am. (But I think they're catching on.)

8. I'm thankful for my nose. I really like to smell everything and I'm impressed
    by it's ability to know right from wrong. 

9.I’m thankful for really old doctors. It's my opinion that doctors only get better with age. 
  (Unless you're a brain surgeon. I don't want an old shaky man operating on my brain.)

10. I'm thankful for the electric blanket on my bed. Nothing says high living quite like falling   asleep each night encased in electricity.

11. I'm thankful I haven't been sent to jail yet. It's one of my life goals to never 
      be held captive.

12. I'm thankful for milk and quite frankly blown away that I can buy it at any grocery store BY THE GALLON FOR 3 BUCKS!! I milked myself one time, using one of those human milking machines. It took me half an hour to produce 3 tablespoons to feed to my hungry crying baby. Spilling that milk would've been a fate worse than death. That day changed the way I look at milk forever. It's liquid gold people! Liquid gold. And if you happen to be a nursing mama out there who's reading this, I would like to congratulate you and tell you what an awesome job you're doing. Really, I mean it. You deserve a gold medal. Feeding another human with your own body numerous times a day, everyday, is hard work. Really hard work. Good on you!

13. #13 is having technical difficulties, sincerely Laughing Mamma. 

14. I'm thankful they don't put Box Tops for Education on cases of beer and  
    cartons of cigarettes. That wouldn't make much sense at all.

15. I'm thankful for Google and it's ability to help me win arguments I have with my husband. Take last night for example. I walk into the living room to find Chadwick watching ANOTHER Robin Hood movie. I began my rant.

"Seriously Chad! How many times are you going to watch Robin Hood? Haven't you seen this before?"

"No, this is a new one."

"A new one? How many Robin Hood movies are there?"

"There's only 5 that I can think of."

"Five! Yeah right. You've watched at least 15 since I've known you. I'm gonna Google it. Oh my goodness there's 53 Robin Hood movies and that doesn't even include television series. I told you so!"

"Fifty three huh? Looks like I've got some catching up to do.”

16. I'm thankful for the "Church Ladies". I don't know if a more caring group of individuals exists. I spent several hours last night watching a movie with the "Church Ladies" and I haven't felt that peaceful in a long time. They totally made me feel taken care of. They always do.

17. I'm thankful for "natural flavor". I don't know what natural flavor looks like, smells like, feels like 

     or where it comes from, but it's in just about everything I eat. I was eating some Wheat Thins today, 

     and on the front of the box, in bright orange letters it actually says, "Natural flavor with other natural

     flavor." Maybe later tonight I'll Google natural flavor to see what I come up with. I'm fearful of what

     I might find. 

18. I'm thankful I've completed one week of thankful posts, and now I can stop being so thankful.Tonight I am finished. The thankful ship has sailed and now I'm going to turn my focus to all the things I'm bitter about. Good night!